Friday, June 14, 2013

The time I peed my pants...

Sorry for the boobs in this pic...

I live about an hour and a half away from University of Maryland. Truth is I'm totally not into college ball of any sort. Yes, I may watch a football game on tv and I've even been to a few UMD basketball games, but I'd much rather watch "real" football.

There was one time when we were invited to go with a group of people to a UMD football game. They were friends of my husband boyfriend at the time but I had barely even met them before. The whole day was kind of awkward. I tried to make small talk with the girlfriends, but truth is I didn't really know them. I was the only one in the group who didn't "belong".

So...what did I do?? Come can do this!! That's right...I got drunk. :)

I talk enough as it is, but when I drink I don't necessarily feel as awkward with strangers. I feel like I loosen up a little. of course

It was FREEZING!! I can't exactly remember the time of year but we were dressed in everything we had and tailgating with snow outside. So, the members of the group started a fire and we continued to hang out until the game started. A few drinks in I had to pee. The only thing available was a porta-potty. No biggie. I actually don't mind portas. One of the chicks even volunteered to go with me to make sure I got back ok.

Fast forward about 4 drinks later...I had broken the seal, so I had to go again. I felt confident about this time so I went by myself and waited in line. It was dark by now so once in the potty I visualized the seat and hovered overtop. This time, however, as I was "doin my thang" I heard something dripping. And then...I felt something flow down my leg...

I'm terribly afraid of spiders so I sucked it up real quick and swatted at my leg. It was at that moment that I realized, whatever was on my leg, it was wet.

Then...there was panic...

 photo omg-zoom_zps829a76c3.gif

I had peed all over myself. WTH?? Why didn't it go in?? Well...some d-bag decided that when they were done they were going to shut the lid. Who does that?!?! It's a freakin porta potty!! Who shuts the lid?!?!?! WHAT DO I DO????

So...I pulled my pants up. Walked out the door. And went straight to the fire.

Not a single word came out of my mouth for about an hour. I stood there, with my butt to the fire, as close as I could get, and drank dried. Luckily I was wearing dark jeans and you couldn't see the wet spot. I even sat at the game, freezing cold, with wet pants, for a LOOOOOOOONG time. But I wouldn't tell anyone. Even Mike didn't know until we were headed home.

Truth is...that story has never been told to anyone besides my husband. Not a sole there ever knew I had pee pee pants. So...I have broken my silence. 

Thank you for listening.

Venus Trapped in Mars


  1. lol this sounds like something that would happen to me!!! :)

  2. OH NO!!!!!!!!! OH YOU POOR THING :( :( :( Thank the lord there was a fire!!!!

  3. I agree with Erica...I'm waiting for this to happen to me one day. Too funny...

    At least you made it to a bathroom. I know so many people who have peed in closets or beds...

  4. hahah I may or may have done this once when attempting to relieve myself behind a car while very very drunk. no shame in that game.

  5. This is my nightmare. Glad you survived. I would never have stayed, I would have made my husband leave,

  6. This is a fantastic story. I am dying. This happened to me once int he Phoenix airport on my way home from a bachelorette party in Vegas. I was so hungover and tired, and then had to spend the next 12 hours with pee on my capris. Disaster.

  7. Hello, I am your newest follower. You have a sweet and encouraging blog. I'm excited to be your newest follower and look forward to reading many posts.

  8. Hey you're not cool if you don't pee your pants

  9. I freaking hate drunken pee incidents. Nothing worse than peeing on yourself but being too drunk to really assess the situation properly. hahaha

  10. Hahahaha! I actually laughed out loud. That's it. Now I'm hooked to your blog!

  11. Well, I actually peed my pants waiting too long, but they were dark & no one noticed..LOL