OVER IT!!!

OMG!! I want to be on a beach with sand in my toes and tequila in my mouth right now!! I'm so over this cold weather. I'm a total blitch and lazy as crap. How am I supposed to lose weight when I can't get out from under my blanket?!?!?!

My friend told me she's headed out to Cancun next week or something. Heaux. Thanks for leaving me stuck here in this cold below freezing temperature. I mean honestly?!?! Is there a point for Groundhog Day next week?? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure Mother Nature has decided to marry Jack Frost and screw us all. Who needs a stupid groundhog named Phil to tell us that...oh hey, winter's not over bitchezzzzz!!! Really?!?! Because my electric bill and frostbitten toes didn't already remind me!

The snow days have been nice, until June when it's gorgeous and warm outside and we have make-up days that take us into July!!! Oh, but you have 3 months off!! NOPE!! Not this chick! I work em all. I might have a total of a week off in the summer. And we use that to go on our cruises...which mind you are much more expensive in the summer. Truthfully, however, the one summer I did take off was incredibly boring because everyone else was working and I got lazy and fat and became an alcoholic.

So for now, until it gets warm and beautiful like it was on the days we were in these places, I'll continue to be miserable and complain. Because what else is there to do when it's colder than a witches tottie out there?!?! 

Now Hiring: A Nanny for my Husband

Why is it that when guys are sick it's like the world is ending?!?! You really think you're going to die, don't you?? THEN GO TO THE DAMN ER!!

Mike has had some kind of stomach issue for the last 4 days. The flu is going around but, it doesn't seem like that. The only time he throws up is at work...which reminds me, remember when we were in school and used to lie about throwing up in the bathroom just to go home?? Yeah....and he hasn't had any "bathroom" problems so I'm calling "bullshit". I think he's just a puss. Like most men...

However, despite all the moaning and groaning and painful screams, he still won't go to the ER. This was literally our conversation last night...mind you this is when he came home from work at 2 in the morning and scared the shit out of me because he didn't tell me he was coming home.

Mike: "I almost stopped at the hospital."
Me: "Why didn't you?"
Mike: *shiver, shiver, moan, shiver, moan* "Because they probably wouldn't do anything."
Me: *eye roll* "Oh."
Mike: *shiver, shiver, groan, shiver, moan, shiver* Repeat 2380236876529708502395 times.
Me: "If you're seriously having that hard of a time you should probably go to the ER. You sound ridiculous. I mean if it's that bad you're probably going to die tonight, so we might want to head out."
Mike: *miraculously stopped shivering* "You're mean. You don't even care how I feel." *remembers he's supposed to shiver...shiver, shiver, moan, groan, shoot me.*
Me: "Listen, you're shaking the whole bed. I'm getting nauseous."...........

Ugh...they're so dramatic!!

Like Mike can literally say..."Man I feel like I might be getting sick." and I'm online looking for flights far far away. Any nanny takers for when Mike's sick?!?!

What do you do when your man acts like that?!?! 

Are you kidding me?!?!

Second post of the day, because I feel it's necessary...

So this is going to be a rant that some of you will not like. But...you're also probably the people who are annoying the shiz out of me right now...so, get over it or leave. My blog, my thoughts, my words, BOOM.

What the hell is America coming to?? Some of the things I see in the news these days is just absurd!! Are we seriously that racist that we complain about every little thing being racist? Because, honestly, if you're complaining about the things that you're complaining about...you're racist. You're trying to say they're racist, but............nope. They're just having fun.

For example:

Julianne Hough wanted to dress up like "Crazy Eyes" for Halloween. Who wouldn't?? Crazy Eyes is the most hilarious character off of Orange is the New Black. She's awesome!! So what if I want to dress up like her for Halloween?? OOpps, nope, I'm white. Can't do it! Because apparently, if I paint my face black to look like an awesome character from an amazing tv show, I'm racist. 

I can't believe she apologized for it!! I would have told everyone to suck it! If I want to dress up like someone I think is awesome, I can!! And, if I want to buy black face paint to make myself look even more like her, I WILL!! It's Halloween people!!!

Then, this morning I read this article. Short story, Hallmark made a ugly christmas sweater ornament. On it it says, "Don we now our FUN apparel". Racist. Right?!? Because we changed the word "gay" to "fun" to portray the hilariousness in wearing an ugly christmas sweater. NO!! It's not freakin' racist!! Are you kidding me?? Nowadays, if you had an ugly Christmas sweater ornament that said, "Don we now our GAY apparel" THAT would actually seem more racist. I'm pretty sure Hallmark didn't have a sit down to discuss how they could take out the word "gay" and replace it with "fun". Pretty sure "Don we now our FUN apparel" is something you or I would say, without even thinking twice, during an Ugly Sweater Christmas party. BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE!!

I personally could give a shiz less if you decide to love someone of the opposite sex or your own. Finding someone who is your soulmate, someone who cares for you more than you care for yourself is a gift these days. Who cares whether it's a boy or girl?!?! Hell, there are people who fall in love with cars!! Who are we to judge?

OK, so that's all I'm going to get into today because I can feel myself getting worked up even more. haha. Yup...even more. Sorry not sorry if I offended anyone. AND there is absolutely no coffee in this school today, which might be the reason I got so worked up in the first place. SOMEONE GET ME SOME DAMN COFFEE!!

Have a Fabulous Friday!! :)