Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Most Popular Posts #3 - Doin' The Do On Your Wedding Night

Haha. Oh by far my favorite Most Popular Post of all time. Enjoy!!

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First off, if you don't like this topic, don't read this. It's my blog. I write what I wanna!!

Oh!!! And don't forget to come link up for Thirsty Thursday tomorrow!! All you have to do is link up one of your posts about alcohol!!!

Okay so, lets be honest...whenever someone gets married you always wonder if they're actually going to "do the do" on their wedding night. Come on...fess up. We all wonder.


Here's something you might not know about me. I'm really interested in sex. No, I'm not some crazy fiend, it's just interesting to me. And truthfully, whenever my friends come over, our conversations always turn to sex. So, I can't be the only one. 

Honestly, I don't think it's something you have to feel embarrassed to talk about. I mean yeah, sometimes it's awkward to picture OPP (look it up, you down with it??) and sometimes you hear things you don't need to hear, but it's still interesting.


Think of it this way, your friend tried out a recipe that you've been eyeing up for weeks. And..before trying out the recipe for yourself you need to get the lowdown. For example: How complicated is this recipe exactly? Does it involve a lot of fancy utensils that you might not have lying around your house? Will I get messy? (OK sorry I had to.) Is ther anything I should be aware of when actually preparing this recipe? And most importantly...Is it worth it?? All legit questions, right?!?

So...why is it inappropriate for me to ask the same questions about sex? I mean I want to know what I'm getting myself into before I'm too far gone. 

But...maybe that's just my own opinion..........

Back to the main question...Did you "get down with the get down" on your wedding night??

My answer is probably about the same as 70% of the population.

No.

You see, on the night of my wedding my husband felt the need to take a shot with every single person he's ever spoken to for at least 30 seconds in his life. However, being the good wife that I was, I was doing the mingling with our guests and had no idea this was happening. I mean, I could tell he was a little bit tipsy and going a little bit too far, but I had no idea what I was in store for.



After most of the guests left, Mike and I were getting ready to go to a local bar down the street. When, all the sudden, I looked over and noticed that his eyes were rolling in the back of his head and he was about to pass out on the couch. When I asked how much he drank he said "just like 4 shots".



Now, between the two of us we did manage to kill a half gallon of vodka and another of sweet tea vodka. But, that's just a typical special occasion Saturday for us. lol. I just figured it was one of those nights where it hits you all of once and they you pass out and be done with it.

Boy was I in for a treat...

After I carried Mike up to the room (4 flights of stairs by the way :)) I realized that he truly was incredibly intoxicated. Thank God my brother and his fiance were there to help me. Unfortunately, for them, they were also in for a treat. The only words that Mike made out clearly that evening were "I want Scott and Leigh to undress me....and very, very slowly." *eye roll*

Between the three of us we did manage to get him undressed and put him in bed. Me still in my wedding dress. When I thought he was asleep I started to head up the stairs to get the rest of my clothes. And that's when it happened. 

I had literally seen Mike get sick about 3 times in our relationship. But tonight changed it all. He would not stop. I somehow got him to the toilet and that is where I slept for the remainder of the evening. Sitting up, on a tile floor, with Mike in between my legs head pushed into the toilet... aallllllllll niiiiigggghhhtttt looooooooooong. Oh, and in my strapless and thong because all my clothes were upstairs.

So...no. Needless to say I did not do the horizontal mambo on our wedding night. And, thanks to an incredibly long hangover and a drive to Florida, it wasn't until 3 days later that we finally got to consummate our marriage. 

A few weeks later when we got our pictures back I had the proof...




So..did you "do the do" on your wedding night?!?!
Did you "do it" on your wedding night?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

2 comments :

  1. I don't know that I've ever heard someone say they actually DID do it! hahahaha

    ReplyDelete