Monday, January 27, 2014

Now Hiring: A Nanny for my Husband

Why is it that when guys are sick it's like the world is ending?!?! You really think you're going to die, don't you?? THEN GO TO THE DAMN ER!!

Mike has had some kind of stomach issue for the last 4 days. The flu is going around but, it doesn't seem like that. The only time he throws up is at work...which reminds me, remember when we were in school and used to lie about throwing up in the bathroom just to go home?? Yeah....and he hasn't had any "bathroom" problems so I'm calling "bullshit". I think he's just a puss. Like most men...

However, despite all the moaning and groaning and painful screams, he still won't go to the ER. This was literally our conversation last night...mind you this is when he came home from work at 2 in the morning and scared the shit out of me because he didn't tell me he was coming home.

Mike: "I almost stopped at the hospital."
Me: "Why didn't you?"
Mike: *shiver, shiver, moan, shiver, moan* "Because they probably wouldn't do anything."
Me: *eye roll* "Oh."
Mike: *shiver, shiver, groan, shiver, moan, shiver* Repeat 2380236876529708502395 times.
Me: "If you're seriously having that hard of a time you should probably go to the ER. You sound ridiculous. I mean if it's that bad you're probably going to die tonight, so we might want to head out."
Mike: *miraculously stopped shivering* "You're mean. You don't even care how I feel." *remembers he's supposed to shiver...shiver, shiver, moan, groan, shoot me.*
Me: "Listen, you're shaking the whole bed. I'm getting nauseous."...........

Ugh...they're so dramatic!!

Like Mike can literally say..."Man I feel like I might be getting sick." and I'm online looking for flights far far away. Any nanny takers for when Mike's sick?!?!

What do you do when your man acts like that?!?! 


  1. hahaha, I remember this guy I dated was a big baby when he was sick and wanted me to stay home from work and do EVERYTHING for him...but if I was sick he wouldn't even see me.

  2. YESS!!! Steven is the exact. same. way. It's seriously the most annoying/frustrating thing in the world. Steven got hurt at work a couple of months ago and has been out on work comp ever since, and to say it's been a difficult time in our relationship would be an understatement. He doesn't understand why I "don't care" about his hurt knee. Meanwhile, I'm trying to go to work, work out, clean house, cook dinner, do laundry, take care of the dogs, and 50 million other things while he sits on the couch with his knee propped up complaining. SO annoying!! Thankfully he was "all better" this weekend to go on a hunting trip, so back to work next week he will go!! YAY!!

  3. My Dad is the same way. He calls me just so he can sniffle and groan in my ear so he can get sympathy. So annoying! Guys are such babies. Hope he gets better soon for your sanity!

  4. omg this was hilarious to read!
    Poor guy, hope he does get to feeling better though!
    My fiance, Tevis, is the same way. He is SUCH a baby when he is sick and i have to rub his head rub his back take care of him BLAH BLAH etc etc and then When i am sick he is no where to be found LOL. MEN....PSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. My fiance is such a baby when he is sick. I think all men are! I hope your husband feels better soon!

  6. I ask him once if he needs anything. I feel no sympathy for people who are sick and refuse to do anything about it.

  7. Omg, I so know this feeling exactly! All I can do is mutter "wtf" under my breath & throw out a "really?" every now & then. Mike & I both had the flu in November & he insisted on me taking him to Care Now, it was sooo dramatic & he told the doctor he thought he was dying... I was so embarrassed! Never mind that I was just as sick too but just sucked it up haha :D

  8. Sick men suck!!! They need to grow a vagina and just get over it!! Seriously!

  9. in the past when guys i was with were sick it's mighty damn strange how i could do anything for them but, when i was sick I had to take care of myself. Men like to be babied when they are sick. it's quite pathetic. My dad is bout the only guy besides my bro who doesnt like the pussy's of men you're talking about

  10. I think this is a rule to be a man. Ugh, I cannot even take it.

  11. ahhahhaha they are such babies when they are sick!!